The DIY Wedding Checklist
So you’re planning your own wedding? This must mean you are my favorite type of person. A creative, go getter who knows exactly what you want and isn’t afraid to take a little risk. This is completely doable and will save you thousands of dollars! Let’s dig in.
If you are planning your own wedding you are probably looking to cut down on costs. I get it! Weddings are expensive!! There is a lot to think about when planning a wedding. It can be overwhelming and stressful! Its easy to know what you want – the tricky part is figuring out how to do it on your own! Here is a guide based on all the things I learned when I DIYed my own wedding. I hope that it will help you plan yours stress and drama free!
VENUE.
Start with a date and venue. Simple enough right? Consider the location and time of year too! Keep in mind if you want to get married on a holiday or long weekend you WILL end up paying premiums. Just something to consider.
CATERING.
Lots of venues offer catering and bar packages. This can be a big help to a DIY bride, but it’s probably expensive and the only option available. So if you are looking to keep costs down ask your venue lots of questions about minimum pricing, catering packages and what they require.
If you have a venue that does not offer food and bar services you will need to bring them in yourself. As soon as you have your date and venue start reaching out to local caterers – especially if you are looking to get married in a typical “wedding season” month! Some caterers books out for a year – year and a half in advance!
Get quotes from 3-5 caterers. Picking a caterer is the most important decision you will make as a DIYer. I had conversations with TONS of caterers. Some of them were NOT quick to provide more info and follow up as they said. RED FLAG. You need someone who calls/emails when they say they will. The last thing you need is to be tracking someone down.
Caterers are also your greatest ally because many of them will set up tables and chairs, help your guests find their seats and attend to them once they are seated!
The caterer I chose was incredibly detail oriented. He wrote down every little suggestion and preference. He was straight forward and honest. If something was too expensive he would suggest the next best thing. He constantly asked about my fiancé and his likes/dislikes which, surprisingly, not many of them did. I knew he was our guy after the first conversation. Go with your gut.
BAR.
Some catering companies have bar services too! But if they don’t, ask your caterer for a recommendation. They will probably have a short list of vendors they prefer to work with. This way the can recommend someone experienced, reasonable and reliable.
Now think about how you want to set the bar up for your guests. You have some options here :
Open bar (a crowd favorite but $$$) – The bar is open all night. Beer, Wine and cocktails. Unlimited.
Limited Bar – The bar is open for a select offering of drinks all night – Like maybe just beer and wine.
Cocktail Hour Open Bar– The bar is open for an hour or so at the beginning of the night and then it closes and guests will need to pay for their drinks from then on.
Cash Bar – Guests will need to pay for drinks all night long.
TIP. See if your venue would allow you to fully stock the bar and then just hire bartenders for the evening. This may be a no-no depending on your reception site, but if you can swing it, it will help you save a TON of money!
RENTALS.
Rentals are a b****. This was my least favorite part of wedding planning. What size linen for a cocktail table? How many people can sit at a 60′ round? Torture!
Lots of rental companies will do sizing of table and linens for you automatically but we bought our linens so some effort had to go into this **Buying your linens will be cheaper than renting**
This is a great resource from erikaamaliaevents.com for table and linen sizes!
DECOR.
THRIFT. Lots of people don’t love the idea of buying used items. I happen to love it! Especially if you can find vintage one-of-a-kind pieces no one else will have. Or an entire collection of dishes and glasses for pennies on the dollar. THAT is why thrifting is the DIYers best friend. You can find amazing pieces to decorate your wedding at a fraction of the cost that most people pay and make it look like you spent a lot of dough on the details.
You can thrift ANYTHING. Take your wedding Pinterest board with you and shop the look for less. Look for candlesticks, vases, glassware, plates, serving trays, baskets, brass, silver, frames, bins. You name it you can find it at Goodwill/Savers/Habitat Restore/Salvation Army and YOU CAN make it cool.
GUESTS.
Make a seating chart. Tell the people where to go and who to sit with. You don’t have to tell them what seat but table number is essential. Otherwise it’s a free for all- and when you are planning your own wedding free for alls are a no-no. Pure anarchy will ensue if you do not tell these people where to sit.
Signage. If your venue is big or confusing make sure to have signs directing people to the ceremony, reception, bathrooms and bars. Be direct. If you want them sitting in their seat at 515 – your sign says “Meet Us @ (ceremony location) at 515!” If you want them to get a drink before the ceremony begins – “Grab a Drink and Find Your Seat!”
Don’t assume anything is obvious. You do not want to be dealing with your Great Aunt Helen complaining to anyone who will listen that she can’t find the bathroom. You do not have time for that sh*t on your wedding day. Save yourself the hassle!
TIMELINE– THIS IS IMPORTANT
Since there won’t be a wedding planner there for your big day its important to help your vendors out. Create a wedding timeline so that all of your vendors know exactly what to expect. Make one specific to each vendor. Be thorough. Outline exactly what will happen at what time. Give them all the info and names they need to know. Do not assume other people know what is in your head. Be clear and concise.
Then make an entire wedding day timeline and email this to ALL VENDORS then print out hard copies to bring with you to your venue that day. Have your maid of honor or mom make sure ALL the vendors have a copy and enough to share with staff. This will help keep everyone on the same page all day long. Vendors will know what to expect from you and each other!
Vendor Specific Timelines
Caterer – You can help the caterer out by giving them a general layout of your venue. Where table and chairs will be and where their staff will be cooking, serving or setting up buffets and stations.
Bar Staff – Outline what time the bar should open. How long it should be open for. List info on signature drinks if you are having them! Have preferences for wines and liquor that you prefer.
Photographer – Provide the photographer with a list of every single picture you want. Yes, that’s right. Every. single. picture. Things get blurry on your wedding day and you don’t want to end up upset you didn’t get a picture with your Uncle Mike! He will be pissed and you won’t have a picture of him to hang on your wall. Then he will come over to your house and make little jabs about it for the next four years.
Officiant – Your officiant needs to know all things related to the ceremony. Break it down. What time guest will find their seats, What time ceremony is set to begin, how many in wedding party, name and relation of person with the rings, name and relation of person with reading…
Make-Up and Hair -Include name of all bridesmaids, moms, aunts etc plus the services they are getting and time slots.
DJ/ BAND – Make sure he/she has a printed out list of who they are introducing. Names of everyone in your bridal party and all parents. Don’t forget to outline any other announcements you would like them to make during the course of the night – like intros for wedding party, speeches, dances, cake cutting, last call etc. Once the party starts they will be guiding you through the evening so make a detail oriented list!
WEDDING DAY TIMELINE EXAMPLE (For All Vendors)
10AM Hair and Make-Up Arrive at House
12PM Photographer Arrives
3PM Bridal Party Ready!
330PM Bar Arrival and Set-Up
430PM Guests Begin to Arrive via Folly Trolley / Pre-Ceremony Cocktails on Porch
515PM Guests Head To Beach
530PM Ceremony Begins
6PM Cocktail Hour Begins – BAR OPENS and Passed Hors d’veouers Served
6-630ish Bridal Party and Family Photos on Beach
638PM SUNSET! Bride and Groom ONLY Photos on Beach
7PM Reception Begins – Bridal Party Introduced
- Immediately Following Introductions – First Dance
- Best Man Speech – Best Man Name
- Maid of Honor Speech – Maid of Honor Name
2. Immediately Following Speeches – OPEN STATIONS
*DJ/Band, Please Announce Stations are OPEN and that there is a lobster roll station on the porch upstairs!)
8PMish Father of the Bride Speech
Bride and Father Dance – “Song Name”
Groom and Mom Dance – “Song Name”
8PM After Dances Please Announce Cake/Dessert
930-10 PM Late Night Snack Served
11PM Last Call and Final Dance Of the night – DJ Please Announce After Party Location to guests.
1130PM After Party
RELAX.
You HAVE got to relax and enjoy your day! Things will always go wrong no matter if there is a planner or not! It’s just the nature of the beast. Have a cold one. Enjoy your day and try to remember that a wedding is a fleeting moment. It goes by so fast. You have to stop and enjoy, really live in it. NO ONE will remember what the favor was. NO ONE will notice if the flowers aren’t really what you were hoping for. What they will remember is the music, the food, the dancing and the way your partner cried when you walked down the aisle. THAT’S IT. And years from now looking back all the things that made you panic that day will make you laugh.
If you don’t think you will be able to relax and enjoy your day you may want to look into a “day of “wedding planner. They leave all the prepping and planning to you but will be there to coordinate and guide you and your vendors the day of for a lesser chunk of change than a full on wedding planner.
